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Emotions Are Not Good In Real Estate

 

 stress

 

Emotions don’t belong here in Real Estate.

It’s like playing poker.

 

How you act and treat others during a negotiation affects your reputation. Keep YOUR emotions, and YOUR client’s outside of the transaction.

Maybe we shouldn’t be negotiating when we are under stress, tired, hangry, or busy with other things.

Ha, that’s not possible!

Busy brokers are always working with many balls in the air at the same time.

Being aware of how you come across can be the life or death of a transaction.

Buyers and sellers can be stressed to the max while in the middle of making this big decision.

 

The other side should NEVER hear comments like:

 

-That offer is an insult.

-They’ll never get their price.

-Guess your owner isn’t serious about selling

-Maybe your buyer can’t afford this property.

 

Careful with your “tone” in text, voice mail, phone, email, and other forms of communication.

 

Always show respect to the other broker. And remember it’s the client’s deal.

 It is NOT the Realtor® or the broker's home.

 

Margaret Rome

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Broker-Owner HomeRome Realty 

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Author of Real Estate the Rome Way

mrome@HomeRome.com

410.530.2400

 

 
Comment balloon 56 commentsMargaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400 • February 24 2020 04:24AM

Comments

Hi Margaret:

Emotions on the part of the agents or the clients can cause lots of issues, plus derail negotiations and the transaction itself. It's not always an easy matter to keep emotions under control, especially others', and snide comments have no place in our business. Our job is to make sure all discussions are without emotional interference. When our own emotions intrude, we are not doing what we are hired, as fiduciaries, to do, IMO.

Jeff

Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (eXp Realty of California) 6 months ago

I agree with you and Jeff Dowler, CRS, we do need to keep our emotions under control.  Many times my clients will ask me how I can remain so calm.  If they only knew what was going on under the surface.  ;o)  

Posted by Raymond Henson, SRES, GRI, Realtor (eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277)) 6 months ago

Morning Margaret.

Never have I let my emotions get the better of me, in this business. In my former profession, I had to control my impulse and get both sides, before making a decision, it works in this business as well

Posted by James Dray, Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results (Fathom Realty) 6 months ago

That's good advice about emotions in real estate transactions, Margaret.  It can be difficult for clients to sometimes keep feelings in check, because buying and selling homes is one of the top stressors many confront in life.  However, when agents give a negative display of emotions, it demonstrates a significant lack of professionalism.

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) 6 months ago

CONGRATULATIONS Margaret, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!  

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) 6 months ago

I agree with you Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, especially because when we talk about real estate, for most Americans, we are talking about their most valuable asset.

Posted by Realtyna Inc, Realtyna- MLS RETS Integration software & services (Realtyna) 6 months ago

Good morning Margaret. Different strokes for different folks. Agree to disagree without being disagreeable. Enjoy your day!

Posted by Wayne Martin, Real Estate Broker - Retired (Wayne M Martin) 6 months ago

Such wise advise, Marageret... I see many agents forget themselves in this regard. A major part of our job is to keep emotions in check and have everyone leave the closing table a "happy camper." There can't be winners and losers... otherwise it wasn't a successful transaction even if it closed.

Always show respect to the other broker. And remember it’s the client’s deal.

 It is NOT the Realtor® or the broker's home.

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Realty) 6 months ago

Carol Williams good morning, Carol... my recommendation for your Second Chance Saturday post.

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Realty) 6 months ago

Good morning, Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland real estate is a nuts and bolts business but it must be softened with a small degree of emotion.... kindness, consideration, support and all around goodness....a neutral touch.... 

no handgrenade tossing....

Posted by Barbara Todaro, Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) 6 months ago

Kindness, respect, and discipline - the stuff of grown ups. Emotional agents are showing their immaturity - and I've seen 70 year olds and 30 year olds throw tantrums. There are already enough emotions in a transaction as it's representative of major change for people, the last thing our clients need is someone fanning the flames. Our job is to be the air conditioner when things heat up. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) 6 months ago

Good morning Margaret. I understand your thinking here but sometimes it is just too hard.

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) 6 months ago

Good morning Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland - how similar this is to almost all negotiations.  I think poker is a great example.

Posted by Grant Schneider, Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes (Performance Development Strategies) 6 months ago

Hi Margaret,
I've always felt the emotional aspect is one of the important reasons buyers and sellers SHOULD hire a professional agent. It's a very emotional experience for both sides and the agents can temper any emotions and keep everything moving forward on an even keel.

Posted by Carol Williams, Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager (Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.) 6 months ago

Good comment   Jeff Dowler, CRS 

''Our job is to make sure all discussions are without emotional interference. When our own emotions intrude, we are not doing what we are hired, as fiduciaries, to do, IMO.''

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Raymond Henson, SRES, GRI And I would bet you are under control especially with so much experience under your belt

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

James Dray Your previous employment prepared you well for life and for RE.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Myrl Jeffcoat, It is not unexpected from our clients but it is ss when it comes from the agents. One of our jobs is to limit or buffer those comments.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Wayne Martin  Good comment " Agree to disagree without being disagreeable. ''

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Hi Margaret- it serves you well when you are professional in your transactions. You are seen as the professional and you show respect for your own profession as well as your clients. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 6 months ago

Hi Margaret well said.  I have seen many agents over the years go off half cocked in the middle or end of a transaction.  That serves who?  Nobody. We had one like that last year and we just got that puppy closed and waved bye bye....so long and hope to never do another sale with you. Like in never!!

Posted by Anna Banana Kruchten Arizona's Top Banana!, 602-380-4886 (HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000) 6 months ago

Great advice. Respect and courtesy go a long way.

Posted by Foster Smith Summerville, Summerville & Charleston Homes for Sale SC Realtor (Carolina One Real Estate) 6 months ago

Thank you for sharing this with us. Emotions, in general, are not a good item in the business period. When emotions arise it is best to walk away and or just remain silent. 

Posted by Laura Filip, What can we do for you today? (Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life ) 6 months ago

When things get heated, I advise clients to remember that this is a business deal. It doesnt matter that it's their home, it's still a business deal that needs to be dealt with professionally. Emotions must be kept out of it as much as possible.

Posted by Margaret Goss, Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate (Baird & Warner Real Estate) 6 months ago

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD What a great comment.."Our job is to be the air conditioner when things heat up. "

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Sheila Anderson If it is too hard, we need to step away until we no longer show the emotion.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Carol Williams   Good comment.

" agents can temper any emotions and keep everything moving forward on an even keel."

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Anna Banana Kruchten Broker/Owner, CRB, CRS With that kind of a transaction, my favorite comment is:   All's well that ends!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Laura Filip This is the way to deal with the situation in the first moments...

When emotions arise it is best to walk away and or just remain silent. 

 

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Professionalism is key in our business! Great post! Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

Posted by Gary & Melynda Wolter (CRS) 480-269-1164, Reliable, Premier Personal Service since 2001 (ProSmart Realty) 6 months ago

Love love love this post : )  I avoid the world when I'm hangry......all the other ones I can keep in check ; )

Posted by John Meussner, #MortgageMadeEasy Walnut Creek, CA 484-680-4852 (Mason-McDuffie Mortgage, Conventional Loans, Jumbo Loans, FHA, 203(k), USDA, VA,) 6 months ago

Such a hard balance, because the entire process is extremely emotional for the client.

Posted by Catherine Ulrey, Equestrian and Acreage Property Specialist (Keller Williams Capital City) 6 months ago

I agree emotions don’t belong in business, not saying that I don’t put my heart and soul in every deal.

Posted by Peter Mohylsky. The Santa Rosa Beach Expert, THE BEACH IS OPEN (PrimeSouth Properties) 6 months ago

Good morning.  Knowing your emotional intelligence and using your emotional intelligence in sales is essential. Emotional intelligence is recognizing and understanding the emotions of others; recognizing and understanding your own emotions and then managing both. When Emotional Intelligence is united with your known behavorial styles and your motivations, is a powerful combination for sales sucess.  I keep Zig Ziglar's definition of sales close to my heart "Sales is the transference of feelings."

Posted by Leanne Smith, Relocation to NW AZ with elbow room & more freedom (Dirt Road Real Estate) 6 months ago

I totally agree. Staying calm and professional should be a "must" in this business.

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty) 6 months ago

Hi Margaret Rome - fantastic post, and I have to admit that I've run across a lot of stressed out realtors lately.  Being an old hat at this, I tend to ignore the attitude and focus on the substance. It's one advantage of lots of experience, you've seen this before.

Have a great day.

Posted by Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc (Benchmark Realty LLc) 6 months ago

Margaret, people are rarely at their best when they are buying or selling a home.  So I guess that means the agents have to be!  

Posted by Patricia Kennedy, Home in the Capital (RLAH Real Estate) 6 months ago

Very good message! I like the POKER analogy. Saw one of yur posts in my Twitter feed the other day, too. Congrats on the Featured Post. 

Posted by Cheryl Ritchie, Southern Maryland 301-980-7566 (RE/MAX Leading Edge www.GoldenResults.com) 6 months ago

Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc Good to see you and I like your comment...

"Being an old hat at this, I tend to ignore the attitude and focus on the substance. It's one advantage of lots of experience, you've seen this before."

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Patricia Kennedy  For sure, we have to be at our best!

Good to see you. I hope you are doing well!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Cheryl Ritchie This must be an old home week, You, Pat and Larry all in the same few hours.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Some basic truths that are good to remember.

Posted by Olga Simoncelli, CONSULTANT, Real Estate Services & Risk Management (Veritas Prime, LLC dba Veritas Prime Real Estate) 6 months ago

Good to see you Olga Simoncelli 

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Uncontrolled they can be a little bit breezy and intense at the same time. Getting control of your mind is pretty important

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) 6 months ago

Laura Cerrano Always so good to see you.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

I remember feeling a virtual slap in the face, though the listing agent never said it meanly, when my buyer's offer was rejected on her listing.  "Your buyer doesn't look as though he can afford this home with no down payment and not a big EMD."  Mind you, it was a VA loan and the lender assured the listing agent that they could.  It was so rude to say that.

Posted by Chris Ann Cleland, Associate Broker, Bristow, VA (Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA) 6 months ago

Chris Ann Cleland There are some "kindness impaired" people in all professions. Sorry you had to experience one.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland 
Wonderful reminder for sure--  
We get so busy and MUST remember the right path.

"Always show respect to the other broker."
Always take the high road!
Hugs - Lynn

Posted by Lynn B. Friedman, Concierge Service for Our Atlanta Sellers & Buyers (Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty Call/Text 404-939-2727 Buckhead - Midtown - Westside -- and more ...) 5 months ago

Lynn B. Friedman Always good to see you! And thanks for the follow-up email. You are the best.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

I couldn't agree with this topic any more than I already do. As a newer agent I have heard and been told about all the things not to do because it offends but my perspective has always been that in business and negotiation anything really goes. By that, I mean, sometimes buyers and sellers will agree on terms out of the ordinary and against market "norms", sometimes agents will do things differently to accomodate the particular client, situation, etc. So getting offended that they are "not doing it how it's always been done" or doing something, like making an offer, that is not standard is okay and should not be responded to with condescension or critique. We work in a business of hearing "no's" day after day so why are we afraid to step outside of the box more often? And why do I see some agents get upset when others do? 

Posted by Michelle Enciso, Exceptional Service for Exceptional People (Pikes Peak Dream Homes Realty) 5 months ago

I've learned over the 40+ years I've been in this business, that the incorrect emotions are always the most problematic, Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland.  Too much gets said or done ... and it leads to all sorts of issues arising or relationships getting damaged.  And typically at a time that needs calm and cool heads to prevail.  Best to remember the Golden Rule at times like that ...

Gene

Posted by Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi, 708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience (NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656) 5 months ago

I believe a little emotion can actually help with the negotiations at the right moments. I believe there is an air of "showmanship" that can be used in sales (while maintaining integrity of course). I like showing a bit of "reaction" in body language just to make a statement in some cases. For example with an unrealistic counter offer... the "wow... not sure that came from?" look.

Posted by Anthony Kirlew, Helping You Make Fiscally Sound Choices (Group 46:10 Network @ eXp Realty) 5 months ago

Michelle Enciso This comment is so good that it would make a stand-alone blog. Go for it.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi 

It is the incorrect emotions for sure! " Too much gets said or done ... and it leads to all sorts of issues arising or relationships getting damaged.  And typically at a time that needs calm and cool heads to prevail.''

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

Anthony Kirlew But of course, good emotion is what selling is all about. Nice comment!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

Thanks for sharing!!!

Busy brokers are always working with many balls in the air at the same time. Being aware of how you come across can be the life or death of a transaction. Buyers and sellers can be stressed to the max while in the middle of making this big decision.

Posted by Sham Reddy CRS, CRS (H E R Realty, Dayton, OH) 5 months ago

Participate