Margaret Rome's Blog

head_left_image

Sticks And Bricks

 sticks and bricks

 

 

  'It's about closure.' received this comment from James Dray 

"Morning, Margaret. Any home that we have owned is (for me), just a roof over my head. I work on where I'll be when I take my last breath. That will be my forever home. "

 

And my response:

" I have sellers say the same thing but are surprised by their reaction. You, my friend, have just inspired my next post."

 

 

Many years ago, I suggested that my sellers take some time to say goodbye to their house.  It was his first home for about a number of years he had recently gotten married.

Later in the week, I received a call from his wife; he was crying like a baby, overcome with emotion. She understood, but he was shocked at his reaction!

Going around saying goodbye to each room, remembering the good times and the not so good times was a bit overwhelming.

Some say your house is only sticks and bricks, it is a structure that shelters you, it is not human, and it’s silly to give the house that much power.

  I have heard it all when I make this suggestion, and I have listened to all kinds of responses.  One seller said: “ Stick to real estate, I don’t need a shrink."

But it is not unusual to have someone become emotional as the memories come flooding back. Of course, my female clients are more likely to share their feelings, but they also share the reaction of their partners. 

It's not just sticks and bricks!

 

Margaret Rome

 Search All Active Listings

 

Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Broker-Owner HomeRome Realty 

signature

 

 

Author of Real Estate the Rome Way

mrome@HomeRome.com

410.530.2400

 

 
Comment balloon 22 commentsMargaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400 • February 05 2020 02:51PM

Comments

I agree 100%.  A house maybe sticks and bricks, but not your home.  We just sold our home of 20 years last summer.  Our backyard, in particular was tough for me to leave.  There were so many memories.  It feels kind of strange because our new house is still just a house.  I think this one will be easy to leave.

Posted by Raymond Henson, SRES, GRI, Realtor (eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277)) about 2 months ago

Raymond Henson.  I understand that you left your home and still feel the new place is a house. Hoping that you will settle in and it, too, will become home!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Oh my gosh, so true. Our memories are made in these wonderful spaces, and the longer one lingers, the more memories to make.  It's so important to keep in mind the emotional aspects of saying goodbye to a home.  I just had lunch last week with a client who was still telling me how much she misses the special shrubs, plants, and flowers in her yard. She sold the home nearly four years ago. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) about 2 months ago

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD 

I appreciate your comment:

" Our memories are made in these wonderful spaces, and the longer one lingers, the more memories to make.  It's so important to keep in mind the emotional aspects of saying goodbye to a home.

 

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Margaret- I've lived in many homes and have so many memories in all of them. You take your memories with you as you prepare to make new ones. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) about 2 months ago

Morning Margaret.

Thank you for the mention, my comment was of course, from the heart.   While I do have many fond memories in the homes we have owned, they are just that, memories.

Posted by James Dray, Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results (Fathom Realty) about 2 months ago

Good morning Margaret. Those bricks and sticks are the place where memories are forever burned into the mind. Enjoy your day!

Posted by Wayne Martin, Real Estate Broker - Retired (Wayne M Martin) about 2 months ago

Good morning, Margaret... I lived for 22 long, long, long months in Abu Dhabi in the early 1990's. They felt like 22 long, long, long years. I couldn't wait to get out of that place. And yet... the day my house there was packed up and loaded for transport, I felt emotional leaving that home... afterall, it had been my home for 22 months.

 

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Realty) about 2 months ago

Hello Margaret - just like each home is unique so are its stakeholders.  Each reacts differently but knowing that the difference can have an impact is insightful on your part.  That's a part of lifeIand success) in real estate.  

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393 about 2 months ago

Wow that could not be a more true statement.  Home is definitely where the heart is!  Thanks so much for sharing!

Posted by Norma J. Elkins, Realtor - Elkins Home Selling Team ( Elite Realty Group) about 2 months ago

Kathy Streib It wonderful when you take your memories with you and make a new home.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Interestingly enough, I just finished painting and redoing an extra bedroom in my home.  I found myself remembering my son, whose room this once was, along with many warm memories in that special space.  I've lived in this house since 1983.  It would be really hard for me to leave it behind, even though at times it seemed to small, and I wish it had a huge kitchen and even larger dining area!  Saying goodbye, if put in that position, would be important to me!

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) about 2 months ago

James Dray ,

My friend, your comments always come from the heart and are much appreciated!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

 

Thank you Wayne Martin , and continue to enjoy those memories.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Nina Hollander Emotions, good or bad,  were there. And you had to deal with them. Thanks for sharing. 

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Michael Jacobs So very true and thank you!

," Each reacts differently but knowing that the difference can have an impact is insightful on your part.  "

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Norma J. Elkins And thank you for stopping by.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Myrl Jeffcoat Your home holds so many memories and saying goodbye would be important.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

I have lived many places in my life and none remain outside of my current house except one apartment.  Some have burned (two in the last year) and some have been torn down to have new places built there.  Don't get me wrong I love my home, but it's a home when I'm there with my family, it's just a house after I go.

Posted by Tammy Lankford,, Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville (Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668) about 2 months ago

Tammy Lankford, You prove that we all have different emotions about our homes. None of your existing homes remain other than an apartment. You had no choice but to put closure on your former properties. So glad that your home is where ever you and those you love are living. BTW, how many places have you lived?

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Oh other than my Grandmother's house, that was her house until my uncle bought it and tore it down (when she moved to assisted living) and my parent's house that they tore down after building a new house 8 years ago (on the same property) I was emotionally done the minute I carried the last box out the door.  

10 total, three burned and 6 were torn down for new construction and the apartment remains, but I haven't so much as driven by in 30 years. 

Posted by Tammy Lankford,, Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville (Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668) about 2 months ago

Tammy Lankford, Thanks for sharing the history of your past homes.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 2 months ago

Participate