Margaret Rome's Blog

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Not About Real Estate

Not About Real Estate Margaret Rome 

 

I recently extended an invite to the Widow's Group.

It was a hard word to say, and it bothered me.

My idea…change the name! From the first time I heard myself referred to as Lee Rome's widow, it was not a word that I chose to be labeled. I resented it, avoided it, cringed with the sound and could not check a box that said, widow.

My Lee died in 2014, over five and a half years ago, a tremendous life-altering change!  

Being so thankful for what we had together, and not what I lost, has gotten me through all these years.

 

My distaste of the word was not helping to accept the situation until I realized the word widow, identified only my status and not my person.

Margaret Rome is the widow of Lee Rome but, so much more!  Instead of just hating the word, maybe change the way I react to the concept.

Very proud to have found my Lee, my love, my life.

As quoted in my book, "I made a wish and you came true."  

We went together for two years and then were married for 16,802 days. What we had was so good we counted each day. For those trying to do the math…almost forty-seven years! So proud to be his wife, his lover, his partner, his best friend, mother to his child, and his widow.

Yes, I am going to try and be proud to say that word because I loved my Lee Rome! I still love Lee Rome, and I am Lee Rome's widow!

The word is not bad…it is the way we think of the word.

I am so proud to have loved so deeply and been loved so completely.  I think I can even accept the word…only a word! Yep, I am a widow!

And I am a member of a widows group!

 

This is not about real estate but, 

 

If you are thinking of selling a home

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Margaret Rome

 

 

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Broker-Owner HomeRome Realty 

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Author of Real Estate the Rome Way

mrome@HomeRome.com

410.530.2400

 

 
Comment balloon 26 commentsMargaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400 • September 04 2019 12:41AM

Comments

Morning Margaret.

I can feel your love for Lee in this post.  My first big loss was my dad, he died in 1977, I still miss and think about him every day.

Posted by James Dray, Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results (Fathom Realty) 6 months ago

James Dray Thank you. Of course, we miss when we love so much. I lost my dad when I was eight years old, it almost prepared me.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

Good morning Margaret. A word is not necessarily good or bad, it is our attitude towards it. Enjoy your day!

Posted by Wayne Martin, Real Estate Broker - Retired (Wayne M Martin) 6 months ago

Good morning, Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland  beautifully written post.... and, yes, we lose people we love but we have the good memories embedded forever.... along with items and photos that make us think about them.

Posted by Barbara Todaro, Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) 6 months ago

Good morning, Margaret... yours was a real love story with your Lee. One that I think many people would like for themselves. Words are just that... and they don't need to define who we are as you've discovered.

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Realty) 6 months ago

Hello Margaret - a heartfelt post about the power we place on words.  

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393 6 months ago

A beautiful post. You are right about words. They can convey meanings or feelings we don't necessarily agree with. You had a wonderful 47 years of marriage. That love story continues to this day. 

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty) 6 months ago

What an awesome new perspective on the word.  Hold on to that love and you will make it just fine and be proud to be called his widow.  Such a feel good blog to read this morning.  Thanks for sharing!

Posted by Norma J. Elkins, Realtor - Elkins Home Selling Team ( Elite Realty Group) 6 months ago

Good morning Margaret. I think you are right, you are more that the wife of someone who died. You were complete but are still whole.

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) 6 months ago

Sheila Anderson That's a good way to look at it. Thank you.

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 6 months ago

"I made a wish and you came true."  That's a beautiful sentence, Margaret!

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) 5 months ago

I also want to say I agree with Sheila Anderson in her comment  "You are more than the wife of someone who died."  It is important to remember that.  I have friends who lost husbands, who didn't accept that.  Some of them in their haste to remarry and carry on the only role they understood - being a wife, made horrible choices in that next marriage.  It didn't always end well.

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) 5 months ago

Margaret- I couldn't agree more.  I feel somewhat that way when in the news, people refer to just about anyone over 60 as an "elderly" person. Good grief!!! I'm not that. 

You and Lee have (because you still have that feeling in your heart) what many would love to have had in their lifetime. You are who you are and being Lee Rome's wife is a part (large though it may be) of who you are. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 5 months ago

Kathy Streib Lovely words! 

note: when we were all younger, we used to refer to people our age as old. You do have to smile at that. 

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

Beautifully written, Mar! You are doing exactly what Lee would want; smile, open your heart, and go on..

Posted by El 5 months ago

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 5 months ago

Kathy Streib Thank you so much. I look forward to your group each week!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 5 months ago

Hi Margaret,
I sooo relate to this post.  When I was applying for my spousal benefits after my Max passed away, one of the questions was "How did the marriage end?"  I immediately broke out in tears because I never considered my marriage to have ended.  I still don't. What we had was wonderful and will last into eternity. A true blessing.  And, here we are... carrying on with them still in our hearts. 

Posted by Carol Williams, Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager (Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.) 5 months ago

Aw, Margaret. What a beautiful, beautiful tribute to love and Lee, and life partners in marriage. What a gift to share this kind of friendship and devotion. Sadly, not everyone experiences it. Lucky you. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) 5 months ago

You have a wonderful attitude Margaret! This post will be helpful to many people on many different levels.

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) 5 months ago

Thank you very much, Margaret, for sharing your perspective. You message will be helpful for others.

Treasure your special memories.

Posted by Roy Kelley (Realty Group Referrals) 5 months ago

Forty-seven years of a loving and beautiful relationship gives you the RIGHT to be called his widow! I'm happy you're wearing it proudly now.

Posted by Margaret Goss, Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate (Baird & Warner Real Estate) 5 months ago

Margaret, what a great blog.  I have struggled these past few years since Skip died, faultered, lost my step, lost my way and am trying really hard to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back to what I love.  Thanks for giving me words of wisdom...

Posted by June Piper-Brandon, Piecing Dreams One Home at a Time (Houwzer Inc) 5 months ago

Margaret Rome, Baltimore MarylandYou just lifted the fog from the word, widow.  What a lovely, uplifting, memorable point of view full of wisdom for yourself and all who read your post.  

Posted by Kris Collis, Associate Broker, Professional Results you Expect 702-574-8102 (Smart Way America Realty) 5 months ago

Margaret, thank you so much for sharing your story.  I went back and read your other post as well.  You are VERY LUCKY to have met someone so perfect for you.  That doesn't happen every day.  Believe me, after searching now for 20 years, I want what you had and wont settle for less.  Maybe you can make up another word for Widow - Cheermeister!  That suits you!

Posted by Jan Green, HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN (Value Added Service, 602-620-2699) 5 months ago

Beautiful sentiments, Margaret. I am sincerely glad you had such a loving relationship. I have been blessed with my perfect human. I hope you find comfort with others who have had to learn a new way of living.

Posted by Mimi Foster, Voted Colorado Springs Best Realtor (Falcon Property Solutions) 5 months ago

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