Margaret Rome's Blog

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How Are You?

 

How are you? may not be the best greeting if you are in a hurry, don't have much time or are not interested in listening to the answer.

How are you? is more of a salutation, not a question.

Do you always want to know how that person is? Do you want to hear their medical history? Do you want to hear about the family, kids pets etc?

Or are just looking to be polite, kind and cordial.

 

This is not about your special friends, family, and colleagues. There are many people when we ask we really are interested and want all the details. 

 

Over the years, I have shared this with a few professionals who want to get down to the reason for the meeting. They are moving, working and fast-paced.

One, a receptionist in a doctor's office..another a busy assistant. When they greeted the client or patient and asked and said Hi, how are you? They sometimes got way more than they bargained for. Once you've asked the question, it is rude not to listen to the answer...no matter how long it takes. 

So here is another way to be just as kind, polite and cordial.

 Instead of saying, 'Hi How are you' (cause you might find out) say 

"Nice to see you! "

 

Nice to see you

 

 

Margaret Rome

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Broker-Owner HomeRome Realty 

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Comment balloon 54 commentsMargaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland • December 14 2018 01:40AM

Comments

Sometimes I ask "How goes the battle"..."what's the good word"... "hey, how are you doing"...and then some times I just say "Hello". If it is the morning I might say "Good Morning!"  or "Good Afternoon!" if it is after lunch...  I am all over the place!!

Posted by Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker, Farm Land For Sale 308-627-3700 or 800-241-3940 (Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farmland Broker-Auctioneer Serving Rural Nebraska) 8 months ago

Margaret, I like “nice to see you” better. It sounds more sincere. You always seem to have such good advice and know the right thing to say... 

Posted by Joyce Marsh, Regional Manager Regal Christie's Int'l Realty (Regal | Christie's International Real Estate) 8 months ago

Dear Margaret,

You can just pick when to use one or the other. Usually, I want to know the details, when I ask, but if in a hurry, I'll start using the other or some alternate greeting.

Posted by Dörte Engel, ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland (RE/MAX Leading Edge) 8 months ago

Margaret, thank you for the suggestion. Most people have no time to listen to the answer when they ask the question. 

Posted by Gita Bantwal, REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel (RE/MAX Centre Realtors) 8 months ago

Good morning, Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland you're right about "How Are You?" being a question with an answer you did not expect....

Posted by Barbara Todaro, Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) 8 months ago

Hi Margaret... can't say I've often had people hold me up with long stories if I've asked how they are. But I do like the "nice to see you" approach just because it's nice!

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage ) 8 months ago

Good morning Margaret. Good blog, great post. I think you are right. Have a great weekend.

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) 8 months ago

Hi Margaret,
I wondered where you were taking us. I do like that option.

Posted by Carol Williams, Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager (Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals.) 8 months ago

Margaret= you are so right with this one. Larry and I learned early in our morning walks that to ask "How are you?" could mean standing there for the next 10 minutes listening to someone's health issues. (especially here in South Florida) I like saying "Good to see you!" 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 8 months ago

Oh Margaret there are some that enjoy going on and on and on and on.  Nice to see you or something similiar is what I've learned over the years to use in these situations. Some times I do want to know 'more' but not always!

Posted by Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS 602-380-4886, Arizona's Top Banana! (Phoenix Property Shoppe) 8 months ago

Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker And all are good greetings for you.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

 

Thank you ....And really nice to see you Joyce Marsh, Daytona Beach Florida Real Estate 

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Gita Bantwal I think people ask the question hoping not to get answers.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Barbara Todaro If you are going to ask the question...you have to expect some may give you an answer.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Nina Hollander I like the way it sounds, also.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Carol Williams And you make me smile.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Dörte Engel It's nice to be aware of which one you choose to use.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Kathy Streib Yours is the perfect example. Thank you.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS 602-380-4886   Yes...

  Sometimes I do want to know 'more' but not always!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Love this message and your suggestion.  I can not tell you how many times someone has asked me how I'm doing and I so much want to unload a tiny bit of daily burden, but know they only want to hear, "Fine, thank you."

 

Posted by Chris Ann Cleland, Associate Broker, Bristow, VA (Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA) 8 months ago

Featured in the group:  BARTENDER, MAKE IT A DOUBLE.

Posted by Chris Ann Cleland, Associate Broker, Bristow, VA (Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA) 8 months ago

Chris Ann Cleland I can just imagine you opening up when a just fine is what they wanted!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Chris Ann Cleland I could use a double right now and don't even drink. Thanks for the feature. I do hope you are doing well!!!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

When ever anyone asks me that question, "How are you?"  I generally respond, "Sober."

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) 8 months ago

Myrl Jeffcoat Perfect answer especially when featured in Chris Ann Cleland 's group!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Margaret, funny you should write this post, here in the US " the  How Are You" seems to be interchangeable to the "Hi nice to see you" on the other hand in Hungary if you say "how are you" be ready for a 20 minute summary... we used to joke never ever ask a Hungarian how they are:))Endre

Posted by Endre Barath, Jr., Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002 (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices) 8 months ago

I like "nice to see you," or "nice to hear from you." In my repertoire, thanks to you.

Posted by Lottie Kendall, Helping make your real estate dreams a reality (Compass) 8 months ago

Way back in the dark ages, when we managed a grocery store, we quickly learned which people NOT to ask "How are you?" One woman - whose husband had committed suicide many years earlier - would start in on a rant about how he hadn't come home with his paycheck.

Of course, you don't always have to ask that question for some people to begin telling you their health issues.

It's nice being a hermit.

Posted by Marte Cliff, Your real estate writer (Marte Cliff Copywriting) 8 months ago

Ha, I agree with this wholeheartedly. Don't ask if you don't really want to know the answer. "Good to see you"  works well for me. Happy Saturday to you. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) 8 months ago

Endre Barath, Jr. There are some similarities in our countries. But really How are you and Diane?

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Lottie Kendall And it is nice to hear from you and also nice to see you.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Marte Cliff These answers are perfect for a business owner. Hope you are enjoying being a hermit.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

 

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD And happy Saturday to you both.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

                    

                               Thank you, Margaret. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 8 months ago

 

Thanks, Kathy Streib for what you do each week and thanks for the feature in the Ah-ha moment!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

The short answer is we are well Margaret:)) the long answer is not a comment:)) Hope you are well too, Endre

Posted by Endre Barath, Jr., Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002 (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices) 8 months ago

Good example Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland ! I was walking the other day and asked a woman I see when exercising, how she was.  We have never had a conversation up until then. She responded, not so good. I could not walk away from that so she poured out her problems to me for an hour. Now going to think twice before asking that question, unless I am prepared to hear their answer and be available to listen. 

Posted by Janice Zaltman, South Florida Residential Real Estate (United Realty Group) 8 months ago

 

Janice Zaltman Realtor, LEED AP Another good example. I have that same situation at the gym..and a Good to see you ...works so much better than How are you?

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Hi Margaret: To a stock question, there is also a stock answer. When people ask me: how are you? I answer: peachy keen. Because maybe I am and maybe I'm not but it's none of their business, LOL. That always throw them for a loop, too.

Posted by Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%, Put 40 years of experience to work for you (RE/MAX Gold) 8 months ago

Good afternoon Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland ,

I'm so glad that Kathy Streib featured your post in her "Ah-ha" moments for the week. I like that saying a lot "Nice to see you!" certainly works well in many situations instead of "How are you?"

Posted by Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR, Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate (Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899) 8 months ago

Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents Peachy keen...perfect. I know someone who answers "Tip Top"

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR Nice to see you and I really mean it! :)

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Lots of people who ask...to  them it's routine systems maintenance...not really listening for the answer

Posted by Sally K. & David L. Hanson, WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce (EXP Realty 414-525-0563) 8 months ago

Sally K. & David L. Hanson Yep routine systems maintenance.

Good to see you both...no really it is!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Oh, I'm so southern - when I'm in a hurry, I say, "Hey there!" When I ask "How are you doing," I really do want to know! 

I always joke about never retiring but, there are so many people that I would love to catch up with and spend hours chatting with them - like YOU! That reminds me, I'm so behind on my calls - and one to you to see how you're doing!!

Sending hugs and wishes for a great week ahead for you.

Posted by Debe Maxwell, CRS, Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods (www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310) 8 months ago

It's easy to fall back on those over used phrases.  The 'it's nice to see you' sounds much better!

Posted by Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR, Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area (Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes) 8 months ago

Hey There Debe Maxwell, CRS Have a wonderful week. 

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

 

And Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR It is really nice to see you!!!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Whew.  I'm glad there is an alternative to this question.  Sometimes I respond by asking: "job, life, politics, what would you like to know?"  Thanks Margaret!

Posted by John Henry, Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design (John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc.) 8 months ago

Cute answer John Henry There is another an alternative.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Nice to see you, Margaret! But in your case I WOULD want to know how you are.

Great solution - we have all had those situations when we ask and get more than we want to receive. BUT the same goes when we are asked that question, right?

Jeff

Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (Solutions Real Estate ) 8 months ago

Wisdom there Margaret! If you don't want to hear the answer, you better not ask the question!

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) 8 months ago

Jeff Dowler, CRS Same here. I would want to know how you are!!!

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

Sharon Tara Wisdom comes with experience. Be prepared to listen if you ask the question.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) 8 months ago

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