Margaret Rome's Blog


Only Get Upset When It Can Help



Only Get Upset When It Can Help


When a situation  is out of our  control, getting upset is a total waste and...

I don't do upset.





Upset faces



Here's an example:


 A closing has to be delayed. The buyer and seller have arranged time off from work. It's the end of the month. Everyone is inconvenienced... from the lender to the title company to the agents to the clients and to all the others who are working on a transaction. That includes movers, family members, baby sitters, employers and  bosses who schedules are disrupted.


When it is out of our control, such as the person who is responsible for a grant approval is just not available, there is nothing to do. 

Sorry but closing cannot  and will not happen at the planned time.


We as agents can not make it close!

No matter how angry, sarcastic and kindness impaired an agent becomes...the closing is still not going to happen!


What do you do when this happens?

Keep your buyers and sellers fully informed. Do not promise a settlement date until you have a final 'clear to close'.


 Yes, you can set a time and date but it is not written in stone.

There are last minute delays with funding, that one extra piece of paper that is needed, an employee verification, a missing certificate or a last minute change in almost anything.

Delays do happen!


Handle it with kindness, handle it with full explanation and handle as soon as you know there might be a problem. And then


Only Get Upset When It Can Help


Margaret Rome 410-530-2400



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Broker-Owner HomeRome Realty 




Author of Real Estate the Rome Way



Comment balloon 36 commentsMargaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400 • September 29 2015 06:50AM


So true getting angry or upset will not close the deal any faster.  We have to think what we need to do to make it close as quickly as possible.

Posted by Andrzej Niemyjski (Realty One Group) over 4 years ago

Hi Margaret -- it's not over, until it's over...until then...anything can and often does happen.  

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393 over 4 years ago

Margaret agreed.  Be upfront and deal with a delay professionally with one eye on solutions and the other on acceptance.

Posted by Anna Banana Kruchten Broker, CRB, CRS, 602-380-4886 (HomeSmart International) over 4 years ago

Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland keeping cool is the best in this situation!

Yes, I have seen so much of drama - and I know, we can control only what we do - and not others.

Posted by Praful Thakkar, Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale (LAER Realty Partners) over 4 years ago

Wayne Dyer would've said that you can solve the problem by condemning it, but move forward with new ideas and all that.

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) over 4 years ago

Keeping cool keeps everyone else that much cooler and calm and collected in that way! It's all good in the neighborhood!

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) over 4 years ago

You're totally right that we can only control what we do and not the actions of others. Love and light!

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) over 4 years ago

Margaret, I only get upset ....and usually it is at myself.... if I could have done something more to make it work... I look at the person having the offer as future friend and if the person who has the listing the same way... no reason to alienate them... I am in for the long haul...Endre

Posted by Endre Barath, Jr., Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002 (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices) over 4 years ago

Frustration is due to whoever dropped the ball....and sometims you just have to play a few extra innings to have the game won.

Posted by Sally K. & David L. Hanson, WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce (EXP Realty 414-525-0563) over 4 years ago

 Good Wednesday morning Margaret. I can understand the frustration and sometimes you just have to deal with it. It is a part of life after all.

Posted by TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc., Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029 (Complete Home Inspections, Inc.) over 4 years ago

Professional Agents can help by encouraging our clients not to schedule things to happen too tightly. I try not to schedule closings on Fridays because a one day delay will become a three day delay because of the week-end. 

I also avoid setting closings on the last day of the month. Escrow companies and lenders are especially busy then.

I have learned not to spend my emotional energy stressing about things I cannot change.

Posted by John Mosier, Prescott's Patriot Agent 928 533-8142 (Realty ONE Group Mountain Desert) over 4 years ago

Good point, Margaret.  You're right; if you can't influence it, let it go. I like the "kindness impaired."

Posted by Debbie Gartner, The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers (The Flooring Girl) over 4 years ago

Good morning Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland,

So glad to see this post featured. You are so right when things are out of your control getting upset is a waste of time! I love your motto "I don't do upset!"I followed the link to you post and can't believe that one was not featured!

Posted by Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR, Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate (Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899) over 4 years ago

Handle it with Kindness!  That is the key to anything in this life. There really isn't anything gained by being mean.

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (406-270-3667,, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty) over 4 years ago

Thanks Margaret!!!

There are last minute delays with funding, that one extra piece of paper that is needed, an employee verification, a missing certificate or a last minute change in almost anything.

Delays do happen!

Posted by Sham Reddy CRS, CRS (H E R Realty, Dayton, OH) over 4 years ago

Margaret, so true and hard to remember at times! Enjoy your day!

Posted by Wayne Martin, Real Estate Broker - Retired (Wayne M Martin) over 4 years ago

Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland 

There are certainly plenty of opportunitiees for things to get in the way of closing on time, and bad behevior jsut doesn't help the situation, nor does it reflect well on us personally and professional, and it gets others upsets too. Knowing what could happen and being prepared ahead of time with contingency plans is far better and will make dealing with the delay much easier


Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (eXp Realty of California) over 4 years ago

In the inimitable words of Mickey:  "If you can't change it, don't worry about it".

Posted by Roger D. Mucci, Lets shake things up at your home today! (Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092) over 4 years ago

Good morning Margaret. Your title says it all and you are smart and right too.

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) over 4 years ago

Margaret, I love the post. Great advice. Thank you for the reminder.

Posted by Gita Bantwal, REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel (RE/MAX Centre Realtors) over 4 years ago

Hi Margaret. I think most people are sorry they got upset in retrospect. It could mean we're not supposed to get upset at all. Thanks!

Posted by Paul McFadden, Pest Control, Seattle, WA. (Paratex) over 4 years ago

I always try to differentiate between righteous anger and impotent rage.

Posted by Joe Pryor, REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties (The Virtual Real Estate Team) over 4 years ago

Try to find plan B.  This happened to me last week when a big blue bank that starts with C didn't close on time and didn't act like they cared.  My buyers had an elderly parent with them and nowhere to live. We were able to work with the out of state seller, get a buyer's temporary lease and get them in the house.  Not always the best solution, but it worked this time. It closed on Monday.   I just wish that the paper pushers who get paid by the hour could see how much impact what they do has on other people's lives. 

Posted by Jeanne Gregory, The most important home I sell is YOURS! (RE/MAX Southwest) over 4 years ago

Who you really are and what you believe in as well as what drives you all comes out under pressure...Take note and adjust accordingly. Hello Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland 

Posted by Richie Alan Naggar, agent & author (people first...then business Ran Right Realty ) over 4 years ago

Kindness impaired... Love that. Our job is to find the opportunity for the soltion and wow moment:)

Posted by Vera Gonzalez, Gonzo For Real Estate (RE/MAX Suburban, Inc.) over 4 years ago

It's true. I wish that we could all keep it together when things like this happen. It does our clients no good to see their agent going nuts. 

Posted by Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner, Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395 (Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395) over 4 years ago

I'm working on a transaction right now that was supposed to close Friday but probably will be put off until next Tuesday. But there's nothing I can do about it so I'd just be wasting my time being upset. 

Posted by Nicole Doty - Gilbert Real Estate Expert, Broker/Owner of Zion Realty (Zion Realty) over 4 years ago

Oooooo Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland such good advice. I wish my wife worked this way. My life would be so much easier.

Bill Roberts

Posted by Bill Roberts, "Baby Boomer" Retirement Planner (Brooks and Dunphy Real Estate) over 4 years ago

We can not control others.  All we can do is be proactive and communicate with everyone.  It is always good to remind buyers and sellers to remain flexible!!

Posted by Shirley Coomer, Realtor, Keller Williams Realty, Phoenix Az (Keller Williams Realty Sonoran Living) over 4 years ago

Great advice and I agree, getting upset rarely helps, we just have to address situations as they arise and make them better sooner, rather than later.

Posted by Brian England, MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ (Arizona Focus Realty) over 4 years ago

I love the "kindness impaired" term.  I'm adding that to my terminology!  The learning curve for me is to be kind and professional when the other party on the phone is screaming "AT" me to "Fix it".   

Posted by Christine Bohn, The Bohn Team, Gainesville FL (RE/MAX Professionals) over 4 years ago

Hi Margaret, just went through one of these situations in the past 24 hours. You're right, getting mad and obnoxious solves nothing. The buyer's agent and I put our heads together, organized our clients, closed this afternoon. It just took some positive teamwork.

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (Coldwell Banker Realty) over 4 years ago

Communication and compassion are key in any transaction.  Good advice!

Posted by Susan Laxson CRS, Local Knowledge & Global Network (Palm Properties) over 4 years ago

Great words for the wise on this one!  Better to take time to think about your words before you say them.

Posted by Paula McDonald ~ GRI, Granbury, TX 936-203-0279 (Beam & Branch Realty) over 4 years ago

Margaret, absolutely. There are plenty of times when it can help but usually delay in closing is not one of them. 

Posted by Sharon Alters, Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL (Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308) over 4 years ago

Us getting upset cues the Client it is a disaster.  When we stay calm it helps them to stay calm.  I don't do upset either.

Posted by Evelyn Johnston, The People You Know, Like and Trust! (Friends & Neighbors Real Estate) over 4 years ago